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for the love of red
14 April 2009 @ 08:58 pm
 

For me, there's just nothing better than driving into my favorite town and seeing this straight ahead.
I never get tired of it.


 
 
Current Mood: calm
 
 
for the love of red
04 August 2008 @ 10:04 am
I just found out that my ex-husband died parachuting over the weekend.
I'm so weirded out by this. 36 years old. And while my years with him
were mostly very-not-good, it was 6 years nonetheless. It's very strange
to hear of someone who'd been so close to me, dying so young.
 
 
for the love of red
28 July 2008 @ 06:05 pm
We had dinner last night with someone who never even heard of "We Are the World."
I think he thought we were ancient.
 
 
for the love of red
14 July 2008 @ 09:55 am
  • My mom turned 70 on Friday. Earlier in the week she told me "I figure if I'm fortunate, I have 10 good years left." I had to change the subject. I don't like it one bit that my parents are reaching this age. She told me this birthday has been harder than previous milestones, because even she can't deny now that she's old.

  • I'm in a biggest loser competition at my part-time job, and I think I'm actually in the running to win. Started a new eating plan, the Mediterranean diet, b/c it's closest to how I eat and how I want to eat anyway. I think the principles should be fairly easy to follow. First two weeks' lunches and dinners are all-you-can-eat fish, chicken, and veggies -- no red meat, which I don't mind at all. Seriously, I lost 1.5 lbs. in my first 2 days doing this. Total loss during the competition so far: 6 lbs. There are 4 weeks left, and I'm hoping for another 10 lbs. in that time. Looks like the Mediterranean diet should help!

  • Tony thinks I have carpal tunnel. I think it might just be my arthritis acting up, though, b/c it's starting to spread to my other joints again. I haven't been able to fully un-bend my right elbow for at least a month, though, and the pain in it is pretty bad especially when I first get up in the morning. With my knees, wrists, and ankles all aching now, too -- and even lots of muscle pain yesterday and today (new for me) -- it might be time to finally give in and see the doctor. Which I don't want to do b/c my super-high-deductible health plan makes me feel essentially uninsured now.

  • My garden is doing really well so far this summer. Pretty soon I'm going to have tons of peas, tomatoes, cucumbers, zucchini, and more! Hooray for cutting down on the grocery bill for the season!

  • I have lots of work to do, and don't want to do it. But it's good that I'm busy! We've gotten a couple direct clients of our own recently, and I'm excited about future potential with them.
 
 
for the love of red
15 April 2008 @ 05:30 pm
Today, I was IMing my former host-father, from when I was in Africa 14 years ago, during college. He is someone who grew up running through a jungle to hunt down his food. As an adult, he made sure he got an education. He now speaks five languages. He has been employed by American organizations and traveled to the States, and in fact, all over the world several times, even working with the World Health Organization at one point. He's currently out of work, and looking for a new source of income for his family.

He told me that he wants to become rich someday, so that he can donate to these groups himself. When I said he's come a long way already, he said, "That's true. The past story is a sign that many futures are possible."

I guess it's a good idea for us all  to take a look back sometimes at things we've been through, our strength in getting through those things, and even more importantly, the opportunities that lay before us all if we open ourselves up to them.

Africa seems to be a constant source of perspective for me, even all these years later.
 
 
for the love of red
08 April 2008 @ 04:19 pm
Every April, I tend to get depressed. Because of the government taking my money. This year is no different, and perhaps somewhat worse.

We tend to feel like being self-employed is pretty nice. We can take breaks during the day without people breathing over our necks, or relax if there's just not much to do. We come and go as we please, and don't have anyone watching to see how long we take for lunch. It's a good way to live, really. Very low stress.

But in April, the bomb always hits. The thing that makes me question whether or not we should keep it up. This year, including our first quarter's estimated tax for '08, the result is that we'll be shelling out a whopping $12,000 on the dreaded 4/15. Yes, that's AFTER the 8k or so that we paid throughout 2007. Oh, and our next "quarterly" estimated tax? Another $4000, due TWO months later, not three. (Let's look up the definition of "quarterly," shall we, IRS??) Oh right, and our property tax is due at exactly the same time. Great.

When this stuff is neatly tucked away, taken out of your paycheck, you don't always realize how much is going away from you. When you're self-employed, it feels like blatant robbery.

On top of that, we're finally finishing my health insurance nightmare, but to make it AT ALL affordable (read: just under $400 a month), we have to get a high deductible health plan. Bottom line: between the two of us, we'll be paying over $4100 a year for a $5000 deductible (per person) plan. I've never been SO tempted to simply go uninsured. There's no benefit in this! What a fucking scam! Oh yeah, and they noted that I turn 35 early next year, which means a big hike in rates. THANKS.

I keep reminding myself, it's ok. We always come out on top, we always get through it, it's been worse... we have the money, we can pay it. But saving and saving, and rarely spending a dime on ourselves, only to have just-not-quite-everything we save taken away every April, is absolutely defeating. I feel like we'll never get ahead; never be able to invest. I don't know... we'll see.

And we made pretty good money last year, too. That's the real killer. Our best year yet = most money due ever, and no satisfaction in it at all.



*breathe*


www.fairtax.org
 
 
Current Mood: distressed
Current Music: Mother - Pink Floyd
 
 
for the love of red
13 December 2007 @ 06:27 pm
I've been told now that most likely, every insurance company in the country will automatically deny me any individual coverage for having been diagnosed with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. They make no distinction between JRA, and RA.

I did note to one woman that they're essentially condemning me to ultimate financial ruin, knowing that someday 10 or 20 years from now, something will inevitably happen to me in life, and without medical coverage, that's my fate, and it's all because my knees hurt for a couple of weeks every 3 to 5 years. She said basically that she realized that -- oh, and she has a TWELVE-PAGE list of all the conditions which result in automatic denial of coverage.

Our only hope now to cover me is to get group coverage. Since Tony and I are self-employed and we do have an LLC, we qualify as a group of two, and in Colorado, when you apply as a group, it is the law that they MUST cover you. Thank you, State of Colorado. That was not a bad idea!

The only issue of course, is that group coverage, because they can't deny anyone, is much more expensive than individual insurance. And we may need to do things that involve payroll and paying ourselves on a regular basis, which we don't do now. I have yet to talk to someone to give me specifics on that.

We're hoping to meet with an insurance broker soon, who can give us the details and find the best rates.

By the time this is all over, I just might be in favor of socialized medicine. or something like it. I have to admit, I didn't fully understand the issues involved before. So, point taken. Thanks to the universe for the life lesson.
 
 
for the love of red
08 December 2007 @ 09:39 am
Anthem Blue Cross and Blue Shield has been my insurance provider for three years. They gave me an individual plan in 2004. Then, when I took a full-time job, I was offered fully paid insurance, also by coincidence, through Anthem. So I took it. I've been paying my former employer under COBRA since leaving that job, and now I've asked Anthem to switch me back to an individual plan. Their response? Coverage Declined. Due to the pre-existing condition of Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis.

The bastards clearly lost track of the fact that a) I've had this condition for nearly 20 years now, b) they agreed to give me coverage a mere three years ago and have been my continual provider ever since, and c) JUVENILE rheumatoid arthritis is tremendously different from adult-onset RA. I've essentially outgrown the condition (which is a common thing to have happen with JRA), have zero permanent damage to my joints, and basically this has been reduced to my knees swelling up once every three to five years. This all goes away with about five days on prednisone, then three to five years later, it happens again and goes away just the same. I've had like 3 or 4 doctor appointments that they've paid for in all this time, which were directly related to JRA.

The really upsetting thing is that when I was looking around for insurance in '04, I applied to several places and Anthem was the only one that accepted me. So now, I have till May (when my COBRA runs out) to find someone else to accept me, otherwise I'll have a bigger problem on my hands, which will be finding coverage after having a gap in coverage.

I feel like I've been thrown into the "Great American Healthcare Crisis" and could end up one of those homeless, bankrupt people should something drastic occur to me 10 years down the road. And all because my knees hurt once every three years.

WTF, people. This is seriously insane.
 
 
for the love of red
21 November 2007 @ 08:34 pm
I have to get a root canal. And it's going to cost one thousand dollars. Yay me, for putting off going to the dentist until it hurt so bad I couldn't stand it anymore.

:(

At least now I have vicodin on hand. I guess that's kinda nice.
Tags:
 
 
Current Mood: annoyed
 
 
for the love of red
19 November 2007 @ 09:43 pm
As I was watching Forrest Gump for probably the 20th time the other night, my husband informed me that he doesn't think he's ever watched any movie as many as 10 times. Really? I'm certainly not the only one who does this. I can name several movies that I've watched at least that many times:
  • When Harry Met Sally (definitely my most-watched)
  • Fargo
  • Rear Window
  • Goodfellas
  • Casino
  • Breakfast Club
  • Back to the Future
  • The Untouchables (ok, clearly I have a De Niro problem)
  • American Beauty
And there are certainly plenty I've watched at least five times. I guess when I find something I like, I stick to it. heh.

So, for anyone who's reading -- what movies, if any, have you watched 10 times or more? What movie have you watched most often?
 
 
Current Music: The Fray - How to Save a Life
 
 
for the love of red
26 October 2007 @ 08:20 pm
On Day 2, we were just trying to make our way around to some highlights that we hadn't hit yet. With the park being so big, it took us about 3 hours or so just to get to the point where we needed to start! But we saw some of my favorite things this day.


















 
 
for the love of red
26 October 2007 @ 07:20 pm
Ok... finally. I have delayed posting Yellowstone photos because I've been working so much that it seems I'm on the computer about 12-14 hours a day now. So on weekends I've been going out of my way not to touch it. Now I'm finally feeling like I can do this, but I'm going to be lazy and just post links to some of my favorite pics, rather than trying to embed them here or whatever. So, deal with it. :)

Day 1 )
















 
 
for the love of red
13 October 2007 @ 10:33 pm
The guy I've been a right-hand-"man" for for the past year, has apparently finally decided to form a team with some people and get himself an actual agency going. However, I seem to now be getting left out in the cold. When this all started, I kinda had the impression I could be a partner for him as he grew. But then he'd say things about his business consultant noting how "partnerships just don't work; most end badly, yada yada." So I didn't ever just sit down and propose it to him directly. I figured I'd wait and see what happened, and things would ultimately fall into place with him.

So for the past year, I've helped write some copy for him, project managed, even handled a couple of clients. Now suddenly, he met some other copywriter-woman like two or three weeks ago, and now he and she and another guy I've met with on several occasions, are out buying furniture this weekend for some office they just got. WTF? Oh and supposedly he's still going to want my help, but since this woman fancies herself a writer and some sort of web expert, I can't see any way that Tony or I will fit into this equation.

Good thing I took that part-time gig. I had no idea this guy would just seemingly walk away on a whim, and not try to include me in any meaningful way, after repeatedly saying how freaking valuable I am to him. This totally sucks, the more I think about it. But I'm pretty sure it's a good thing, and at some point I'll discover a reason (or perhaps several reasons) why it's a good thing.

Maybe I'm just missing something. Some role I'll fit into. We'll see. At this point I'm not sure I care.
 
 
for the love of red
09 October 2007 @ 09:35 pm
Tony and I are in a supper club that meets once a month. We rotate to three different couples' houses, and each bring a portion of the meal... this has been a nice way to get to know a few people, and it's been lots of fun.

Recently, we decided that next time Tony and I host (which is now coming up in a few weeks), we'd make some Louisiana food that Tony was missing. I emailed his mom and asked for a recipe for shrimp etoufee, as well as a seasoning that Tony wanted (called "Slap Ya Mama!" -- it's apparently pretty spicy).

What followed was a string of phone calls, over the course of several weeks, from Tony's aunt, asking various questions like what color our plates are, and would we like some Mardi Gras decorations to go with our theme. She used to be in a supper club herself, and apparently had great fun with it, and as a result, also had tons of decor left over that she didn't mind parting with.

Today, THREE boxes arrived in the mail. The complete care package from both his mom and his aunt included (among other things):
  • Three containers each, of two different types of Slap Ya Mama! - as well as three containers each, of several other mixes and seasonings. (one for each of the couples in our group)
  • Pat O'Brien's Hurricane Mix (famous bar from the French Quarter, and originator of this lovely drink)
  • 6 hurricane glasses for said beverage
  • Gold-colored chargers to set underneath our dinner plates
  • Lots of Mardi Gras beads
  • Fleur de Lis earrings and keychains
  • Mardi Gras shirts
  • Mardi Gras fake tattoos
  • Coffee
  • Beignet mix (another of Tony's favorite things), and lots of other food items
  • A very high-quality roasting pan to cook the etoufee in - and I'm sure I'll use it plenty for other things as well
  • Brochures, web-page printouts, and other miscellaneous items regarding Mardi Gras trivia and assorted Louisiana factoids
  • Photos of their entire family making the etoufee themselves, and using the same food mixes that they were putting together for our care package
All in all, it looks like Bourbon Street exploded in our living room. It's hilarious and may be a storage problem, but it's so fun and nice!! It was a very cool surprise. :) It appears the only thing they forgot is the actual etoufee recipe. hahaha... They'll email us that, though.

Just some of the stuff.

Oh, and his mom also sent us a couple of photo albums, with copies of pics of Tony as a kid -- I previously only ever saw one or two pics of him when he was young, so this was a really sweet thing for her to send.
 
 
for the love of red
04 October 2007 @ 07:56 pm
Tomorrow, it's been five years since this:
http://pictureposter.allbrand.nu/pictures/bizeth/wedding/Beth+and+Tony.jpg.html
...and I can hardly believe that.

It's gone fast! So that's a good thing. :) This life is so much better, in so many ways, than my life used to be.

We're leaving first thing in the morning for our first real vacation in all that time. A long weekend to Jackson Hole, WY, with day trips on Saturday and Sunday, to Yellowstone. SO exciting. Yay!

We exchanged gifts today, and I think we both made out pretty well. I got him a new video nano, which is like, every bit as cute as my baby shuffle that I love so much. The nano is black, and pretty. And tiny. Very cool. He got me a very nice cutler set, and a dutch oven for all the cooking I've been doing lately. (Srsly, I LOVE these gifts! I've been begging for good knives for at least 3 years. The dutch oven has been an obsession for just the past few months.)
 
 
for the love of red
03 September 2007 @ 10:52 am
Really, I don't know what it is about September. It's my favorite month. Reminds me (even though I'm now 11 years out of college, thank you very much) of getting new books and notebooks and pens, and going forth into classes to learn new things. The air is fresh and cool...leaves are starting to change colors. I love it. It has much more of a new-beginning type aura for me than January. This is my own personal "emotional new year."

And somehow I also seem to have a tradition of starting new jobs in September. Beginning in 1998 or so. And even including my firing (one year ago in two days, and on almost the exact 1-year anniversary of my hiring there, too), which launched me back into freelancing.

In keeping with the tradition, I've recently decided to take on a part-time contract labor position with another agency. I talked to them shortly after my firing last year, and wasn't impressed. But I've spoken with them off and on a few times over the year, and now they've nailed down exactly what they want me to focus on: scheduling/traffic management, and writing when I have time. This, I think I can do. I'll be in their offices 4 hours a day, and free to do my own stuff on the side. And hey, if I hate it, no big deal. I'm in a great position right now of being busy enough that I don't absolutely need this position -- and I'm hoping that will actually help me do a better job b/c (I hope) I'll be less emotionally invested and less easily overwhelmed. This is just a nice addition of a regular paycheck twice a month to help even out our income schedule -- and it'll give me the chance to get out of the house and work as part of a team again, and hopefully learn some new processes and things. I'm basically like a consultant, helping them get organized and get some structure in place, which I think should be a pretty cool role to play.

I went in and met everyone last week; the creative staff seem pretty at-ease and cool. I'll be sitting in their room, which is a pretty decent, big, open space with a phenomenal view of the mountains. There's a 3-mile walking/biking path around a lake right outside, too. So I may try to take time to walk that every once in a while.

The new job is also, unfortunately, in the same building as my former agency's biggest client, so I'm virtually guaranteed to run into the guy who fired me and the woman who manipulated him into it. Although I hear they may be on the brink of losing that client anyway due to the poor service they're receiving from that biotch now. hahaha. Thankfully I'm in a place right now where I can just smile and say how fabulous my life is without them. :)

I start tomorrow, 9 AM.
 
 
Current Mood: peaceful
Current Music: Regina Spektor - Samson
 
 
for the love of red
12 June 2007 @ 03:40 pm

Regarding an email I received from my former editor at the Chicago Sun Times (she's now left for another job elsewhere):

BiZeth: hah! wow! from an email from matt's gf: "I definitely will keep you in mind as we continue to grow for freelance work (unless you’re considering a move to Chicago – then maybe FT). I enjoyed your writing and know how independent and deadline-oriented you are."
Gnowknayme: That's cool.
BiZeth: that sure was nice! i could live in chicago, have i mentioned that?
BiZeth: haha
Gnowknayme: CYA!
BiZeth: oh man.
BiZeth: sob.
BiZeth: you'd rather split from me than live in chicago? dude. that's not right.
Gnowknayme: heh
BiZeth: i heart chicago.
Gnowknayme: "heart" is pretty close to how I feel....Just drop the R and put the E at the end.
BiZeth: wow.
BiZeth: you are a cruel, cruel boy.

 
 
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: Butterflies - Toad the Wet Sprocket
 
 
for the love of red
16 March 2007 @ 05:37 pm

I think this has to be THE greatest junk mail ever.

Viewer Discretion Advised

Of course, my biggest issue is that I'm really not clear if I'm actually supposed to *want* to go to this event. The flyer alone is terrifying. (woo! 666, parts 1 AND 2! I can hardly wait!)

Tony's only comment? (Pointing to the image under "Second Night") -- "I ride one of those in World of Warcraft."




 
 
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Regina Spektor, Hotel Song
 
 
for the love of red
27 February 2007 @ 02:06 pm

As of this morning, I have a new nephew in Indianapolis. 

9 lbs., 4 oz., and everybody's doing fine. (My poor sister-in-law. Her first was a tad bigger, as I recall.) 

Name: Slade McKinley Miller. 
oohh yeaaah. 

This name makes me want to rock out. I'm totally getting the new boy this CD to go along with some cute clothes:
Get Yer Boots On!


 
 
Current Music: Run Runaway by Slade
 
 
for the love of red
Today was good. After successfully completing careers-oriented articles for the Chicago Star and Daily Southtown on such topics as Orthodontists, Chicago Streets and Sanitation Workers, Bakers and Dog Trainers (with the editor changing only maybe 5 words or so per article), I've been given an article-per-week assignment for 6 weeks having something to do with their home guide. No details yet, but I think that starts soon. 

In addition, my editor also tells me that she has a "permanent weekly article" need that she's expecting she'll give to me. OMG. I'm gonna be sorta like a columnist or something!?! :-) woo! I have no idea what it is yet or if it's actually a "column" per se ... but it's regular. Hopefully it'll be interesting and something I enjoy.

Next goal: to get her to let me start travel writing. Because she edits for the Travel section, too. Hello... dream job! :)